Imagine you study for your learner's permit.  You show up and you are told to put the car engine together.  Is that fair?

You go to a conference where the person in charge of assessment for the entire state tells you three things that will not be on the EOC, because those things are not in our standards, you would tend to believe this person.  We were told there will not be any two variable inequality graphing questions among other things.  Fast forward to now and as I'm walking around the room monitoring like I'm supposed to be, I see a two variable inequality graphing question.  It is hard to miss because the question and its answer choices took up the entire page.  I almost picked up the phone and called the person in charge of assessment for the entire state and might have said some very unprofessional things.  Things like, "You stupid fucking retarded bitch.", or, "How dare you stand in front of me and then lie you stupid fucking retarded incompetent bitch.", and my personal favorite, "I will hunt you down for being such a stupid fucking retarded incompetent bitch, lying, and not being able to hire a company that can write a test aligned to the standards."

Then I realized I would be fired, lose my license, and go to jail, not for saying those things, but for looking at the test.  For some reason, it's a secret.  There are no old versions to look at.  There are no guides provided by the educational department.  I can't look through the test while the students are taking it.  I can't discuss the test with them afterwards.  Yes, those bad things will happen.  They were in print and I had to sign it.  I don't want to go to jail... I"m too pretty.  I don't want to be somebody's "bitch".  I've seen Prison Break.  But what can you do when you realize there are other questions that don't align with our standards?  What can you do when you realize that at least 20% of the test doesn't align with our standards?  Its not fair to these kids who have worked hard all year to prepare for this to be tested on stuff they don't know.  Especially when this test counts 20% of their grade.  It's not fair to me.  My name is attached to these scores.  I worked hard to cover the standards and then to ask questions that are not from our standards is not fair.  You've turned an achievement test into an aptitude test.  Who created this test and how much money was paid?  I could have created a test aligned to the standards for the same amount.

 I suppose in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter and I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.  Especially, when you learn Monday that a colleague learned Friday she has breast cancer and is having her left breast removed Wednesday along with chemotherapy in the coming weeks.  The good news is the cancer seemed to be contained to one breast and three lymph nodes and no where else and the operation went well.

Today, I gave my first block class an opportunity to retake an old test.  Seven students took that opportunity.  I caught one of them cheating.  She had another student's test and was trying to hide it under her test.  I took both, balled them up, and through them away.  I turned to her and simply said, "Don't bother coming to retake this test.  You can simply take the zero."  I was furious.  I was shaking with rage.  Literally, I was shaking.  I had to close my eyes and count to ten.  That's one of the things I cannot stand.  Here I am giving you a chance to retake a test and instead of studying and doing the review sheet you decide to cheat while the other students are trying.  You stupid bitch, I hope you fail.  I hope you fail and we have a parent teacher conference so I can say, "She failed because she decided to cheat," and then walk out of the room.  I'd rather have a student tell me, "I didn't study for this and I'm going to do poorly on this.  May I take the test at another time?"  I hate cheaters.  I didn't cheat when I was going through school and you bet I'm proud to be able to say that.  I remember my seventh grade science teacher bringing me up to his desk and asking me if I cheated on a test.  I felt so offended and shamed that he would even think that of me.  That I would have to resort to cheating.  I guess he saw that because he took back the accusation.  I know it goes on and that it's a fact of high school life but that doesn't mean I have to accept it.

Mentally, I've already checked out.  I'm done with these children.

I got an email from the local university's liaison for student teachers.  Apparently, they emailed the department head and she gave them my name to have and train a student teacher for next year.  Me, I'm just finishing up my second year and will going into my third year of teaching.  There are other teachers with more years of experience...but, I guess I'm the only competent one.  Yeah, my ego increased by a factor of 10.  Apparently, I've mastered teaching.  I am a god among mere mortals.

Thought of the day: "Ring...ring...ring...State assessment person, how may I help you?"

"You are a waste of space you stupid fucking incompetent bitch."

"Who is this and how did you know?"