Minimumsota...

Hahaha, I so clever.  I took the word "minimum" and combined that with "Minnesota".  It makes fun of the Gopher's offense (and final score) which happened to look a lot like our offense last week.  I have to say Pryor looked a lot more comfortable when he rolls out of the pocket and throws.  While Pryor is learning to be a quarterback Tressel is learning how to play Pryor to his strengths while also working on his weaknesses (like any good coach should).  I suppose this is what gives me the greatest amount of fear on any given Saturday.  I'm expecting a level of perfection from Pryor that is unrealistic for a sophomore quarterback.  I think we hit rock bottom last Saturday and things are looking up.  This is a good thing considering that we have Penn. St., Iowa, and Michigan coming up (yeah, I know New Mexico St. is next but...).  All in all, I was pleased with the offensive performance (of course, I was pleased with the defensive performance but they always play exceptional).

Teachers are still congratulating me on the pep rally.  The principal even gave an announcement Monday morning thanking everybody for such a wonderful pep rally and in her words, "...one of the best we've ever had".  King of EOC scores and Pep Rallies is the new title I have given myself.  I wonder how it made the teacher who was the student council faculty advisor before me feel?  Probably pretty worthless.  I've also been contacted by numerous organizations wanting the student council to raise money or collect something.  I've told them to send me the information but I have no plans to do anything.  Again, I'm busy.  Student council can disappear for all I care.

I noticed a small bump on my back a couple of days ago.  The bump got larger and when I pressed on it I could feel... something fluid like.  I was messing with it Friday night after coming back from the football game (we were murdered) when I felt it get wet.  I ran to the bathroom and pulled my shirt off.  It hadn't burst but I was fairly confidant I could pop it like a zit.  I pushed near it and it burst forth with some of the most foul smelling substance I have ever smelled (it smelled like shit, my back was taking a shit).  I kept prodding it and poking it until the bump was nearly gone.  However, it continued to ooze so I scotch taped a folded up paper towel to my back (it was a two person job but I'm not going to ask the neighbor to help me out).  I checked it yesterday and it was still oozing.  I checked it this morning, still oozing.  I checked it this evening, still oozing.  This is kind of weirding me out.  Oh well, as long as I have scotch tape and paper towels I'm not too worried (unless somebody tells me otherwise).

This week is parent conferences and so we have a half day on Wednesday.  Report cards come out on Wednesday as well so it should be a hellish evening of being asked why their offspring is failing (if anybody even shows up).  "Well, low test scores.  Unfortunately, little Timmy here did not retake any of those tests."  "You mean he could retake tests."  "Yes."  That's when the conference becomes fun.  The parent realizes that their child is lazy and probably would not have failed.  All of the blame is put on the child and the grounding and taking things away commences.

One of my problem students (actually, she's just a complete bitch) got into a fight on Thursday.  Another teacher was telling me about it because it happened at lunch.  Apparently, there was ripped out weave/hair all over the ground.  I laughed because it sounded like the problem student had the shit beat out of her.  I'm going to say it is okay to laugh because... it is.  I had to fill out a paper the next day because this student is going to go before a panel that might (hopefully) will expel her from school.  This paper wants to know about grades, attendance, and behavior in my class.  Grade: 67%.  Absences: 8.  Behavior:  Typically does nothing relating to class assignments.  She is usually a classroom disruption.  Rude and obnoxious.  (I would have added: complete bitch, waste of space, should be aborted, if killed humanity would be better off, however, that would not have been professional.)

Thought of the day: "Common sense... so rare it's a damn superpower."

Pur'don't became Purdue again...

I am disgusted.  Five turnovers... four of which were committed by the same person.  Pryor, one turnover is excusable but three more... no... I simply can't pretend everything is alright.  Our defense is playing hard and getting us turnovers.  The defense is holding teams to a field goal when you turn it over in the red zone.  You've got to do better.  Small... I'm not impressed when you call a fair catch and then fumble the ball.  I do that.  That's why I'm not playing football.  Tressel... even I was disgusted with the play calling.  I've seen the alarming pattern of offense decline and hopefully this is rock bottom.  We've got Penn. St. at Penn. St, undefeated Iowa at home, and Michigan at Michigan.

I might have been shouting unkind things at the TV.  I might have even punched the wall in a slight rage.  This might have all happened in the first half.  Then I settled down and pleaded to have Bauserman put in with Pryor as a wide receiver and or running back.

Homecoming pep rally, parade, and spirit week are over.  The pep rally came together at the last minute but it was good.  It moved quickly and the faculty touch football game was a success.  I got the number of volunteers I needed and it was enjoyable.  I even caught a touchdown pass.  My team won even with the other team cheating by going out and getting a person who played college football to play for them.  He wasn't on the approved roster so that team was automatically disqualified by the random rules I came up with.  You know, my team was more offensivly capable then OSU was today against Purdue.  The parade was taken care of by my assistant.  This was a good thing because I didn't do anything.  It was entertaining so I'm going to call it a success.  Later that evening, I had fun playing my trumpet with the marching band during the homecoming football game (and they won).  I still don't have rhythm.  Finally, that crap is all over with (and as one teacher put it "you haven't killed spirit").  I am working on it, though.

I've been super busy at school the past couple of weeks and haven't been able to make it out to play football on Wednesdays.  The last time I was there my face smacked the ground hard enough that I saw stars.  That's the first time that has ever happened to me.  That's when I realized I should use my arms to cushion my fall instead of my face.  I hope to make it out this Wednesday.

First quarter grades are due this Tuesday.  Students are scrambling to retake tests and turn in missing work.  Things have settled down to a routine with them.  I think they are finally seeing the light.  In other words, they've finally realized that my plan works and that I actually do know best.  Some are still fighting me but they will eventually be assimilated.

Thought of the day: "It's finally not so hot down here."

Baby cribs and USC...

USC lost to Washington and I laughed.  Then I was sad because they should have lost to us first.  Michigan State almost beat Notre Dame but that didn't quite work out.  I was sad because I wanted Notre Dame to have a 1-2 record right now.  OSU beat Toledo but didn't get to see it so I was sad.  I had to watch another game and watch for score updates.  I went over to a teacher friends house to watch football but he has a small TV and no HD.  That won't be happening again.

Today I went over to another teacher friend's house to help move furniture around, get stuff out of the attic, and put together a baby crib.  They are having a baby in mid-October and they are trying to get stuff moved around and set up a nursery.  The crib didn't have directions (the crib was from someone else) it just had a picture but I'm an engineering genius and put the crib together with no trouble.  They fed me lunch and dinner.  Yes, I do work for food (especially a home cooked meal).

Now I just need to finish up the laundry.  Clean clothes would be nice for tomorrow.  Probably should make a version B test for algebra II honors along with an answer slide for the homework and a quiz to go along with the homework.  I also need to make sure I have volunteers for the blood drive on Friday the student council is sponsoring.  My first big test.  This will tell me if I have people willing to volunteer and do my bidding.

Thought of the day: "USC lost to a conference opponent.  Hahahahahahahah."

Running over students...

Apparently, there is a group of students that get together on Wednesdays to play some backyard tackle football.  They invited me to come out.  I did.  It was a most enjoyable experience.  They decided to use me as a tight end.  First play, my team decides to get me the ball by having me go out 5 yards and then hook left.  I go out and hook left; the ball is thrown behind me but I make a spectacular catch and immediately I get wrapped up by a defender.  I'm not sure what they were thinking but if I decide to go somewhere I'm going to get there.  I drag the poor boy halfway down the field before I get gang tackled.  Hehehehe.  On a different drive, after witnessing the power running they decide to hand the ball off to me.  Fine.  I get met at the line of scrimmage but then my shirt rips and I break free and go halfway down the field (it was small field) before someone slide kicks my feet out from under me.  I noticed as I was running some of the smaller students would get out of the way.  Hahahaha.  I was playing defense and I was covering a receiver; the quarterback woefully under threw the football and allowed me an easy pick.  I almost had a touch down but again someone caught me from behind.  Again, some of the smaller students didn't attempt to tackle me.  I have to say, it was alot of fun and they invited me back again.

It seems like my students this year don't want to work or write anything down.  It's going to be a long unhappy year for a lot of them.  Interims came out today and they were so pissed that they were failing my class when they had done all the work.  I simply asked, "And...how were your test scores?"  They still haven't figured it out yet that tests are worth 60% of their grade.  I've told them and I've told them and we've done averaging activities but still they are under the impression that if they do all the work they will pass.  Thank you middle school.  So I see a lot of them copying from each other.  I'm okay with this.  Why?  It shows up when they get a 20% on the test.  An F is an F whether it is 69% or 45%.  I love sitting at a parent conference and then explain to the parent that little Laquisha is simply copying from her equally dumb friends and hasn't put forth any effort.  Then when I tell the parent they had the whole quarter to retake tests and that their child hasn't taken advantage of this; the expression is priceless.

Thought of the day: "Why am I failing?"  Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.

A New Day

Okay, I'm better now.

Tuesdays are awesome.  Three reasons: 1) Hell's Kitchen, 2) The Colony, 3) Sons of Anarchy.

Oh, and it is one day closer to the weekend.

Thought of the day: "Somebody forgot to take his crazy person medication."